Super-SONIC Tips for SegaManiacs! - Part 2

Last time, we took a look at the introduction and the first five zones of Sonic 3.  Time to wrap things up with Launch Base, Special stages, and Multiplayer.

We've finally reached...*sigh*...Launch Base ǝuoz.

Here's the guide's intro for this Zone.  "Excellent Work!  You have discovered the secret fortress on the Floating Island where Dr. Robotnik is trying to repair his Death Egg ship.  All he needs now are the Chaos Emeralds.  By now, you should have collected all the emeralds.  If the Doc defeats you, he can steal the emeralds.  If you beat the Doc, the Floating Island remains a safe and happy place to live."

...Ok.  First things first.  The guide at this point contained a single paragraph in the introduction that mentioned collecting chaos emeralds.  It has not yet told the player how or any of the giant Ring locations.  Apparently, it just assumes that the player (who BTW bought this guide presumably because they needed help) would find them on their own.  Second, when the Hell was it implied Dr. Robotnik would search Sonic's corpse for the Chaos Emeralds when he's dead?  He's already powered up the Death Egg.  With you gone, he's won.  The end.  Finally, there's no mention of any chance of the Floating Island returning to the sky, which to be fair, doesn't happen in Sonic 3 itself anyways, but if anything this game has shown the island isn't a safe place to live:  there's a deadly carnival, sunken ruins and hilly ruins with booby traps, and a forest that's still on fire.

Getting beyond the first paragraph, we reach the first two pieces of advice the guide has to give.

Piece 1:  "This zone is jam-packed with high-tech gadgets, including an electronic surveillance system.  When Sonic activates this system, several robotic bird Badniks (Flybot 767s) attack Sonic."

Piece 2:  "When Sonic or Tails touches this siren, an alarm goes off, alterting Dr. Robotnik and his Badniks that you've entered this secret area.  You hear it wail, and then several Flybot 767s fly at you.  Be ready to jump up and perform Super Spin Attacks to defeat these air-based robots."

...Did anybody care to point out that they're basically saying the same thing in both of these paragraphs but in different ways?  Also, wow, they knew the name of the badnik.  Good job.  They got all of the other names wrong, but hey, 1 for about 25 isn't bad.

"Sonic's feet stick to this cylinder."  Yes, this floor is clearly a cylinder:  I can tell that from the 1mm of it that you've shown me.  That's not the only piece of spinning technology this guide manages to screw up.  Here's what they have to say about those purple and gold spinning platforms attached to poles.

"Have you ever been on The Mad Tea Party teacups at Disneyland?  These teacups move up and down as they spin around.  You must ride several of these if you want to find the Doc.  To activate these, Sonic leaps into a cup."

First of all, these platforms don't move in a fashion that is even remotely close to the Mad Tea Party teacups.  2nd, couldn't you just say "These platforms spin as they move up and down a track.  Hop in to take a ride" instead of a paragraph full of pointless information?

So, eventually we reach the end of Launch Base Zone, but not before several instances of this clip art.

...What the Hell is this thing?  Seriously, I'm at a loss for words.  This doesn't look like anything in any Sonic game.  Is it an actual base launching?  I just don't know.  Oh, and for the record, here's how strange the path between tips has become.

Anyhoo, where was I?  Oh yeah, Act 2.  Not much is said about Act 2 other than you run on pipes that "seem to go on and on" until after the first cannonball Robotnik machine.  Here's the first final confrontation comment which sits next to a picture of Sonic piloting the Egg Mobile up to Knuckles.

"Prepare for the battle to end all battles.  You've located the Death Egg ship.  Now, you must defeat the Doc and his ship!  After you defeat this ship, you can take it over and become the pilot.  The ship takes you to where Knuckles is waiting."

Was there a dare to say ship as many times as possible?  Also, since it says ship after Death Egg, it almost sounds like you have to beat the Death Egg, at which point you can pilot it to Knuckles.  Now THAT would be something to see, Knuckles trying to punch the entire Death Egg backwards!  Finally, you never defeat Robotnik while he's driving the Egg Mobile you steal.  It's just sitting there.  Moving on, here's the next comment, which is next to a picture of the rocket penultimate boss.

"It's Sonic versus Dr. Robotnik - an epic battle between good and evil.  Keep performing attacks on the Doc's ship."

Um...okay, it sounds like they're building this boss up as the final one even though we've still got the Big Arm left.  The next comment, which reads, "As you launch your attacks, aim for the top of the ship, near where you see the Doc sitting.  Stay away from the bottom of the ship, where its rockets are located," is located next to a picture of...um...

...Carnival Night Zone?  Seriously, what's up with them putting in pictures of Carnival Night in the wrong zones?  Oh well, it's time for the Big Arm fight.  Let's see what tips they have to give.

...They...don't talk about it.  At all.  No really, I didn't skip any pages or tips.  The incorrect picture of Carnival Night is the final picture in the zone guide.  This is a guide...that not only doesn't give tips on the final boss of the game...IT DOESN'T EVEN SAY IT EXISTS!!!  I mean, imagine if you were a kid playing this game while reading this guide.  You'd be so happy when that rocket blows up that you've finally beaten Sonic 3 only to have the sky darken, the music change, and another boss suddenly start beating the snot out of you.  You'd be devastated!  You'd franticly look through this guide for tips to no avail.  What a cruel joke!  Oh, but thank God next year, Hedgehog Day will be celebrated in my honor.  More like in memory since I was killed by a boss you didn't even tell me existed!

So, after this message, it tells you to sit back and watch the credits.  What comes after that on the next page?

"Super Sonic is invincible.  He moves extra fast and no Badniks or energy weapons can harm him.  To tap into Super Sonic's power, after you collect all of the Chaos Emeralds, touch one of the Giant Gold Transporter Rings."

Oh, that's nice.  First of all, thank you so much for telling me about this AFTER the game.  I really need it now that I've won.  Second, what a transition:  Sit back and watch the credits SUPER SONIC IS INVINCIBLE.  I honestly think they put this paragraph in the wrong spot in the guide.  Third, they imply that's the only way to get Super Sonic, not just gather 50 rings.

Anyhoo, in the pages that follow, the guide says there's secret rooms with giant rings and describes the special stage.  It also takes a full 3 pages and a paragraph to describe the Gumball bonus game.  Seriously, 3 pages on a non-essential mini-game yet we completely overlooked two bosses in the game including the final one.  What a disaster.

Well, looks like our last task is to take on the...

...Oh, God damn it.  Yes, it's time for multiplayer mode.  And as with any mode, the first thing you do is select a character on the...menu...screen?

Yes, use the arrows on the controller (as opposed the arrows on your TV remote, I guess) from THIS gamescreen which looks suspiciously like Azure Lake Zone to select your character and stage.  Other than this slip up, the game gives some award winning advice such as "The least productive thing you can do during a 2-player race is to run in the wrong direction" and "There can be only 1 winner and 1 loser."  Man, how could I have survived without these helpful hints?

Well, that covers everything in Sonic 3, so we've reached the end of the guide.  However, there seems to be about 15 pages left.  I wonder-

WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!??!!!!??!!!!

Yes, the game guide is actually two in one, covering both Sonic 3 and Sonic CD.  Well, cover is a strong word for Sonic CD.  It covers Sonic CD in the same way a washcloth covers and elephant.  Now, I've already shown you the front cover to this book so you know it does not mention Sonic CD at all.  What does that back cover have to say?

Yes, Sonic CD:  The Sega CD version of Sonic the Hedgehog 3.  Seems about right.  Well, I guess next part we'll be covering Sonic CD.  If you want to know how Sonic saves "Princess Sally" from "The Doc" and his latest creation "Robo-Sonic", stay tuned!